You are not a lame ass parent
by DC World
Summary: Blaine is having trouble raising his younger brother and gets some unsolicited advice from his best friend


**So here is another scene from my AU. I know that I could probably do I a better job ( and maybe one day I will rewrite it) but I've had this for so long and I just want to get it out there. Plus, I LOVE the dialogue in this scene. Reminder, in this AU Cooper does not exist and instead Blaine has a younger brother named Evan who he is legal guardian of.**

* * *

" No, Blainers. Just no. We've been through this." There is a mischievous glint in Wesley Montgomery's eyes as he reaches over to grab a French Fry off of Blaine's plate and shoves it in his mouth. Deep down Wes knows just how much of a pain in the ass he can be - knows but doesn't give a damn. " You are not going to become one of those lame ass parents who snoops through their kid's stuff. So not cool."

Blaine rolls his eyes. Of course. Wes is obsessed with trying to prevent anyone from having the embarrassing/ devastating childhood he is sure he would have had to endure if his parent's hadn't sent him to Dalton. He is convinced that his mother is secretly one of those traditional Chinese Mothers, although Blaine has personally never seen anything to prove such a theory. And he and Wes have been best friend since middle school.

" First off, I wasn't snooping through his stuff. I just borrowed his laptop." This is entirely true. If he hadn't have been so lazy and had actually searched for his charger he wouldn't have even gone in his room. " And second, Evan is my brother, not my son."

Wes waves his hand dismissively. " Same shit, different pile."

"Okay, fine. Whatever. Can we stick to the point here. Which is that I was visually assaulted by some unwanted x-rated movies."

He laughs. " So you discovered porn on a 15 year-old boy's computer? Big Deal. Even you had a stash of vintage muscle magazines hidden under your pillow."

" It's not the porn I have a problem with Wes," Blaine sighs. " My problem is that I don't even know if he's had " The Talk" yet. And knowing my father he hasn't. Which means that's yet another thing that falls under the category of " things Blaine is suddenly responsible for.""

"So? Order a pizza, sit him down and talk to him. No big deal." Wes reaches over and grabs another couple of fries. Blaine resists the temptation to smack him on the hand and remind him, yet again , that " staff eats for free" is not code for " friends of staff can mooch whenever they feel like it instead of just ordering for themselves".

He stares at Blaine while he chews- prompting him to elaborate. " I can't have a sex talk with my brother."

"Why not? It's not like your still a virgin"

Blaine rolls his eyes. " Are you dense? In case you've forgotten, I'm gay and clearly he is not. I mean, besides the 10 second peep show that I got this morning, do you know how many women I have seen naked? One. And as soon as I noticed she had nothing on I practically ran out of the room and hide in the closet."

As soon as they leave my mouth, he knows that " hide in the closet" was probably not the best choice of words if he was trying to avoid a joke at his expense. He is actually very surprised when Wes doesn't bring it up. " Yeah, but you were like what? 10?11?"

There was a brief pause before, " 20"

"Really, Blaine."

Blaine scowls "Screw you Wes. I'd like to see how you would react if a drunk naked man barged into your room in the middle of the night."

"Well, there was this one time, at band camp…"

"Shut up. I'm being serious."

Wes raises his hands in surrender. "Right. Sorry. I can do serious."

"Thank-you." Blaine glances at his plates for a moment before letting out another sigh. " I don't even know why I stress myself out over this shit. Even if I did know what to say, he wouldn't listen to me anyways. "

"You don't know that."

"Wes, you know as well as I do that that kid hates me."

He doesn't hate you. He's just…

Just what? Pissed? Of course he's pissed. I would be too.

"Yeah, well. Whatever." Wes grabs Blaine's entire plate and pulls it towards him. Blaine gives him a glare but doesn't stop him. " Have you at least confronted him about smoking?"

"No"

"Jesus, Blaine. I can't decide if you are the worst legal guardian or the best. That kid could probably get away with murder."

Blaine groans in frustrating. " I know, Wes, I know. You think I don't know that? I mean, God, I keep waiting for some responsible adult to magically appear on our doorstep and just take over. How the hell am I supposed to raise a teenager when I still feel like one myself? At least if he had been a baby I could have grown with him, learnt along the way. There's definitely a reason why people aren't born as teenagers"

Wes snorts. " Yeah, because I'm pretty sure there's not a single women out there who wouldn't flip a bitch if they had to push a 120 pound punk out of their vagina only to have it turn around, flip them off and walk out the door." He grabs the last fry off the plate and shoves it in his mouth, as if what he just said was a perfectly normal response.

Blaine gapes at him for a moment before shaking his head. Why was Wes his best friend again?

* * *

**The ending is super rushed, but I 've never been good at endings. Other then that, what do you think? Reviews would totally make my day.**


End file.
